No, I do not wear MOM JEANS!

Hi everyone! This is Ashley, here. So, Nicole has been wanting me to blog about being a stay-at-home mom for quite some time now and in a way I guess I was avoiding it. I didn't realize I was but I think I was. Why, I have no idea but after watching the movie, Courageous, I am facing it full-force. Have you seen Courageous? If not, you absolutely must see it!

I was called to be a teacher. Yes, I said called. Just like preachers are called to preach, I was called to teach. Before my calling, I so desperately wanted to be a pediatrician. In fact,
from the age of 8, I knew that I wanted to work with children one day. In the spring of my sophomore year of college, I was called to teach. So, I changed my major from Biology to Elementary Education. After I made that change, a peace came over me like I had never before experienced.

I loved all things elementary ed in college. In 2004, I started in the profession as a kindergarten assistant. I looped with that class and was theirfirst grade assistant. Man, I loved that group of kids! The following year, I was hired to teach first grade. Man, I loved that group, too! There'sjust something about your very first class that you call your own. The next year, I moved up to second grade and I stayed in second grade from 2006-2010. Yes, I loved my second graders, too! :)

While I was teaching, my husband and I started a family. Our son was born in 2007. I recorded when he first rolled over, when he started to crawl, when he spoke his first words, and when he began walking. I didn't miss those moments because they all occurred during the summer months. At least if I did miss them, he did them again for me when I got home from school and I never noticed.

A few years later, I was expecting again-a girl. My husband asked me while I was pregnant in April 2010 to come home. I told him I just could not come home.I loved my job. I never imagined in a million years not working. I'm a very independent person. As I got further along in the pregnancy, I started resenting work. Long hours, paperwork brought home everyday, meetings,....the list goes on.  All I wanted was for our daughter to be born and to be born before her September due date. And boy she was!

She came 2 weeks early in August. My husband begged me to not go back after my maternity leave. I told him that I had to go back. My students were depending on me. So, after 8 weeks home, I went back. I promised myself I would try it see how it went. Well, my daughter wasn't sleeping through the night and by Thanksgiving, she still wasn't. That meant that I was waking up throughout the night, getting up at 5 to get ready, getting both my children up and dressed, dropping them off at daycare, and clocking in by 7am. I was
exhausted before the day began. At the end of each school day, I had meetings. When I got home, I had papers to grade. I was tired. I didn't feel like cooking for my family or doing chores. I didn't have time for them or even the energy for them. I was running on thin air. I knew that something had to give. I was miserable. Plus, the cost of daycare was half my check. I basically was working to pay someone to keep my children and that didn't make sense at all. I always said when my job was no longer fun, then it was time to
leave. So, I spoke to my principal and told her the news. Right after our meeting, I texted my husband. He had just received a raise. Now, if that isn't a God thing, I don't know what is. My last day was the day  students got out for Christmas break in 2010.

I can't say that leaving was easy but I don't regret it. I hate that I didn't stay with my students until May but God sent them the best teacher. In fact, she had been praying for that position. I absolutely love being at home. I didn't get to miss my daughter's "firsts." That's what it's all about. She finally started sleeping through the night at 8 months. Can you imagine what I would've looked like with no sleep for 8 months straight, plus teaching all day. Whew! I hate to even think about the under-eye bags.

I know now that leaving teaching was the best decision I ever made or should I say God ever made for me. Because after I walked out of that meeting with my principal, that the very same peace that came over me when I changed my major 10 years earlier, came over me again. I knew that that was God's sign for me. I now have energy to spend with my family. I feel like cooking and cleaning. I have time for myself. I have time for my husband. I have time for my friends and family. I drive my son to Pre-K each day and
play with my daughter during the day. I'm now a car-line mom. I used to see them each day and wonder and now I know what it's like. My husband and I aren't on the verge of divorce anymore because had I continued on the path I was on, that's where we'd be today.

So, moms if you are able, and I said, "if," go home and be with your family. You will never regret that decision. Sure, I questioned what will define me now since I'm not a teacher anymore. What will be my identity? How will I depend solely on my husband for money? How will we get by? And that's hard learning how to let go and let God guide your life. If I ever had any reservations, I can tell you they left the day my son said, "Mom, I'm so glad you're home now to be with me!" That sweet comment was worth every sacrifice. When he looks back one day, sure he'll remember that mom was a teacher and how he used to come help me in my classroom but he'll cherish how his mom came home to be with him and his sister.  P.S. For the record, I have not lost my identity. I'm a mom, a wife, and a Willow House consultant....I just had to fit that one in. =) Good night everyone!

This is a picture of My 2 Blessings that I LOVE

{Disclaimer: I know I'm a teacher but if there are any grammatical errors, please forgive me. It's 12:26 am.}